Roller Coasting Through Life

I find myself on another one of God's roller coasters.

I buckle myself in, preparing myself for what's coming, bracing myself for the twists and turns that could throw me off and hand me over to gravity. Honestly, I have never been a fan of such roller coaster rides, the thrill that comes with life threatening moments just doesn't appeal to my nature; more than that, I am terrified of how similar it is to life - being thrust into a world where familiarity eludes me and comfort escapes me, it definitely doesn't exactly send messages of peace. Now too little, too late the window to escape has shut and I have to face the unknown and hold on for dear life. And this is just how life is. But we have to get on the ride of life to be able to experience something amazing, though it may be terrifying and underwear may be flying, you are guaranteed to get your money's worth.

Then, there is the Lord - the Man who checks in to see if all strapped in tight - He knows the course, He built the course; but I still fear for the tricks up those enormous sleeves of His. I repeat to myself that I am ready, that it will be over soon, and that my life was totally not at risk. But that's just it. Life is the risks we take. Nobody ever talks about that time they sat on couch all day and had the most life changing experience, no. Everything we are capable of is achievable by taking a breath and pushing off the bed, and trusting that God has full control.

Anticipation.

Moving slowly toward the peak, the excitement building. The worry that I may fall off has been reassured by God and I trust that I am safe in His grand design. On the rise I may see glimpses of the course but what is right in front of my eyes is the peak and nothing more. At times I may resist the strains that keep me in my place to escape from dread of the drop. But slow and steady I rise higher and higher, my heartbeats are racing and I can only hold my breath knowing that the I am at a point of no return. And I take the plunge.

I have just celebrated my 21st birthday, and I'm realizing that about two decades ago I was a child that needed constant support to get by a single day and now the world brands me an adult. In my last year as a student, perchance that I don't take Masters, it's been all about getting ready for the "real world" as if the world I am in now isn't real enough as it is. I talk amongst friends who talk about work and marriage, and somehow it's all becoming a little too real. I'm plunging downwards and there's nothing to stop me, life is not taking on a low point but rather that my last semester has arrived and I'll be breezing through the next months until graduation, and then it'll all be over. More than a decade and a half of being a student, and I now have my whole life ahead of me, or so they say. There's so much more the world is handing me than I have yet to realize, and I don't know whether I should reach to attain that or cherish the last moments of college knowing that the chapter is ending. I choose then to cherish what I have, for I won't have it forever. I choose to create more memories that I may carry with me as experiences of joy, as well as experiences that are character building. I choose not to leave behind what I still have until I have to let go. And I choose to wait patiently for that which the future brings.